The Story Of A 29 Year Old British Girl Who Moved To LA To Make Her Dreams Come True; Only To Move Home To Care For Her Mother Diagnosed With Brain Cancer. Day-To-Day Thoughts, Updates, Love And Laughs (yes, I'm still allowed to laugh...)

Monday, 23 December 2013

Radiotherapy Every Day Including Christmas Eve? Fuck You Cancer.

Or.. "Puck you Cancer!" If you're a Chris Lilley Fan.
If that makes no sense at all to you, go and watch Summer Heights High on YouTube-Chris Lilley is one of my comedy heroes....Anyway, back to cancer....

I hope you all had a wicked weekend and are full of the Christmas cheer. I am...trying. 
I put decorations up this weekend everywhere I could and Mum was directing me from her bed. When I say I put decorations everywhere, nothing was exempt-even fat, pissed off ginger cats...

Mum was really tired this weekend and sadly the full side effects of radiation are showing. Not only is she as tired as she's ever been but the hair loss has began.

Man, it really is awful. As though a patient doesn't have enough bullshit to go through. Their body is fighting and weak from battle internally and then the outer shell has to reflect that struggle with hair loss and sallow skin? Not fair mate, not fair.

I noticed Mum's hair loss as she took off her dressing gown and there was a mass on the back. Waking her up onSaturday it was on her pillow. I was nervous as to how she would react.
She has been very emotional of late, but as the brave Glasgow lass she is, with a shrug and a sigh she said, 

"Ach, it doesn't matter, I'm not bothered, honestly."

Honestly, the "honestly" was for my reassurance as she could see the thinly veiled shock on my face; but that's what mother's do.

I broached the subject of hair loss with her and in my ever daintly and ladylike manner saying, 

"Look Mum, cancer is bullshit, losing your hair is bullshit. But we can get you hats, you have more scarves than the female population of Paris, so we'll cope"

I was just brushing (gently combing) her hair now as we are about to leave for radiation and so much hair came out it was incredible. 
This was just the beginning.

I feel like I want to grab every strand and keep it in a box, so I keep every part of her that I can. I may still do that and end up the crazy cat lady who collects hair on the side...

Anyway, off to the hospital we must go then I am attempting to regain Christmas spirit by baking some gingerbread men later. 
Wish I could just get into the Christmas spirit by getting drunk on mulled wine instead. Oh well.


  1. Hi there. I'm sorry life has given your mother and you this painful struggle. I also left my life behind to care for my mother during her cancer battle, so I wanted to just drop by and offer my support as a stranger with understanding. If I can be a sounding board for you during this time feel free to drop me a message on twitter @theasthinkings. I hope you still find those little festive moments x

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, it really means a lot.

  2. I hope your journey came to a happy ending. The offer for a sounding board works both ways ; ) xxx

  3. Sending you and your mum big hugs my darling. Find a good christmas flick to watch, and bake away. Both are fantastic ways to celebrate even if you don't really feel like celebrating. I'm going to be doing the same in my place tomorrow :)


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