The Story Of A 29 Year Old British Girl Who Moved To LA To Make Her Dreams Come True; Only To Move Home To Care For Her Mother Diagnosed With Brain Cancer. Day-To-Day Thoughts, Updates, Love And Laughs (yes, I'm still allowed to laugh...)

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Good Day, Bad Night (Part One-Day)

Heyho Birdies-

Firstly a monstrously HUGE thank you to all of you that continue to email me/tweet/message me your deeply personal stories and thoughts on my situation and my scribblings. Please keep them coming; I love reading everything you write and enjoy writing back even more!

Anyway...onto the cancer thing...sigh...
Yesterday (Wednesday) was a mightily crap day (or night, rather). My aunt came over to take charge for the day. I think she can see how desperately I need a break. 
I took my time to shower (luxury) got ready and went into the local town. 
To be honest, I had to do one thing-go to the bank-I did that, then had no idea what else to do. I didn't feel like shopping and really, I'm not in the position to be spending money on clothes right now, so I just walked. I don't know the town too well (I grew up down south, and my mum now lives up north) and it's a small town with not much to do, but to have the time to wander was pretty odd. I didn't know what to do with myself and ended up in a coffee shop trying to carry a ridiculous shaped cup to my table without spilling it.  I sat and read YOUR awesome correspondence, drank my latte and watched life going by. 

While sat drinking out of said ridiculous shaped cup, I couldn't help but notice the amount of people sat outside. It was freezing outside and it didn't click straight  away but the reason was that they were having a smoke. As I've said before, I used to be a smoker and cannot stand ex-smokers preaching about the dangers of smoking; yet, I looked at them and wanted to say, "come and see the effects of cancer, the people it effects-it fucking sucks. Why don't you do yourself a favor and just quit now. Please"

It is not my place to tell anyone what to do, if you wanna smoke-it's legal, you can do what you like, but I couldn't help but wonder if they saw cancer first hand (which we know for sure smoking can cause) if it would change anything. Who knows, but it made me keep watching them until both parties were way too uncomfortable...

I left and headed back to mums-feeling a lot lighter as I'd had a mini escape from reality, but worried in case anything had happened when I got back...

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