The Story Of A 29 Year Old British Girl Who Moved To LA To Make Her Dreams Come True; Only To Move Home To Care For Her Mother Diagnosed With Brain Cancer. Day-To-Day Thoughts, Updates, Love And Laughs (yes, I'm still allowed to laugh...)

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Confession Time...

I was considering boring you all with an account of my dreams last's very possible I still will, but first a little confession...

I've been scribbling for a while now and it never ceases to amaze me that you are reading this, emailing me, tweeting me and keep supporting me. You are all pretty fucking awesome and keep me going when the blues hit home.
However, I have suddenly realized I have not told you all that you are privy to information the majority of people in my life are not.

I began writing this believing it would simply be for me, myself and I, but it has quickly gained momentum which I hope will continue. As it has built and you, dear reader, kept...well reading, it has now become words between me, myself and you. I have set up an Instgram (@TheBirdsThatSingAtNight) and Twitter (@TheBirdsThatSing) just for this blog and you. My personal Instgram and Twitter are completely separate and barely used since I've been back here in the UK and writing this.

You will notice throughout my entries that I don't use names of any of my friends, family members or others because none of them know I am writing this. I have kept these scribblings secret from everyone around me both here, and back in LA. 
Even though this is an open forum and anyone can view this, I have shied away from telling anyone for several reasons. 
I have a feeling my aunt and uncle wouldn't understand why I am writing this and feel it might violate mum's privacy. They barely use their computer and certainly don't have the word "blog" in their vocabulary; and I don't know if my mum knew she probably wouldn't fully understand it as she is right now.

I haven't mentioned this to my friends, put it on my Facebook, my personal Twitter or Instagram; even though they would read it, it would boost numbers for the site etc. but I don't want to. Perhaps, it's because it is easier to tell strangers the truth rather than those we feel closest to. Yes...I think that is it. 

When I speak with my friends and they ask me how I'm doing, I fill them all in on different things at different times and it would certainly be easier to just direct them here, but I cannot.
They know what is happening, but the words I write to you are like secret scribblings that I don't need to answer questions about.

When my friends do end up reading these lines-I love you, you are my family, but sometimes the raw truth is a little too
hard to tell x

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