The Story Of A 29 Year Old British Girl Who Moved To LA To Make Her Dreams Come True; Only To Move Home To Care For Her Mother Diagnosed With Brain Cancer. Day-To-Day Thoughts, Updates, Love And Laughs (yes, I'm still allowed to laugh...)

Thursday, 13 March 2014

While Back In Los Angeles...

Well, I'm doing a pretty shitty, slow, job at updating you, aren't I?! It ends here, I promise-I will be better!

Anyway, back in the US, my best friend, A, picked me up from the airport and knew me so well, that we just caught up on her wedding plans. I think I have mentioned this before, but, she is getting married in April, and due to everything that has happened since Mum has become ill, I can no longer be her bridesmaid, attend the wedding shower, bachelorette weekend and perhaps not even the wedding.  To be honest, I know very little about all these obligatory wedding events that lead up to a wedding and cost everyone hundreds of dollars, and don't really agree with-however; she is my best friend and has been there for me through thick and thin and it's a shame I can't be there with her.

Anyway, we drove back into LA chit chatting and it felt so strange seeing the plam trees, feeling the warmth of the evening. I picked up my car which I had parked at W's (a great friend that I used to nanny for) drove home and was greated by this baby....

I jumped into bed and cuddled with my Johnny Cat-and admittedly wasn't looking forward to waking up.

As the weeks went on, I was very aware that my return date was looming. I spoke with my aunt every other day and the news wasn't great. Mum now was in a hospital bed in the living room. She was finding harder to move her limbs and to get up. My aunt had to organize to have a hospital bed delivered and one of the sofas removed in the living room to make room for it.
Mum's consultant upped her steroids again which showed some improvement with her.
She can no longer stand, walk, lift her legs or arms too well and can most times, not take instruction.
She does not respond to you for the majority of the time, but does talk occasionally-usually, monosyllabic answers. It all just seemed to happen at once, far too quickly, and all resoundingly unfair.

Every day, back in the US, I was having a hard time, dreading seeing msgs on my phone, not wanting to wake up-and not wanting to see anyone.  I just wanted to work, come home and be alone.

I was determined to work as much as I could and I booked a couple of days on Glee, a movie in Palm Springs, and a webisode where I played a hippie...don't I look the part??!

It was all great escapism-maybe that's why I love acting so much-because I am able to escape from the reality. While back in LA, I wanted to escape as much as possible. I worked as much as possible as I had a lot of bills to pay, rent for the month I was going to be coming was stressful to say the least.

I felt so deprived of having fun and acting my age while back in England, my friend T and I had some fun nights indeed while I in LA-but really, every act was merely a distraction from what was going on. 

And, before I knew it-it was time to head back to LAX...

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