The Story Of A 29 Year Old British Girl Who Moved To LA To Make Her Dreams Come True; Only To Move Home To Care For Her Mother Diagnosed With Brain Cancer. Day-To-Day Thoughts, Updates, Love And Laughs (yes, I'm still allowed to laugh...)

Friday, 29 August 2014

"To Sleep, Perchance To Dream"

Sleep is my best friend, my enemy and my sweetest escape.

When my father died, there is a lot I have blocked out, a lot I have forgotten, except the sleep. All I could do was sleep. 
While I was still in England after his funeral and before my return to the US I remember just sleeping and waiting for it all to be over.  When I returned to the US, mum came back with me and I went back to work within a week-not because I had to, but because I wanted to, and I wanted distraction. I would sleep all day until an hour before work, shower and leave. I worked in a small Mexican restaurant in West Hollywood. I had a lot of regulars that would come in nightly and when I first went back to work the boss was great and just held my hand and made some jokes. A lot of the regulars knew and one man, called John, simply held out his arms and said, "a long trip-right?" and I was so grateful for that gentle welcome. When a world of people have no idea what to say stranger's words can mean everything.

The sleep is beckoning me again. I could sleep all night and create an artificial night for myself during the day. The stress, the pain, the fact my heart is breaking makes sleep seem such a luxurious escape.

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