Crying On Your Own Time

 

I was sat in the pharmacy waiting for Mum's prescription for a UTI. I knew something was wrong earlier her speech had been a tad confused, she was barely drinking any water (as much as I forced her too) and she started to find it harder to get up.

As we were entering the Radiotherapy unit this morning she suddenly stopped and her knees just went and she looked like she was going down. Both my Aunt and I had a hold of her and at first I thought she was joking because it was so dramatic-she just started to collapse. As she went into the room for radiotherapy they got a wheelchair for her as she had another turn. Her test for a UTI came back positive and  I was happy. I was happy because I suspected it; and happy because these symptoms could be attributed to a UTI and not the monsters inhabiting her brain.

I'm teary today and I don't want to be. I'm teary due to my less than tactful uncle telling me I use the word "love" too much. Yeah, I get criticized for using the word "love" I ignored him and my Aunt stuck up for me as usual.

But then I cried as I sat waiting for Mum to finish treatment because I started to talk about my brother asking me when I'm coming back. I haven't worked in over a month, I have bills and rent and am relying on people coming in to see to my cat everyday-it's a bit too much for me today.

My Aunt gets emotional when I do so I try not to cry but I'm pretty worn out. I'm so worried about back home and feel I can't leave my Mum so what do I do? I don't have any solutions and the weeks constantly roll on and problems get bigger.

I will fight this-I don't want to be weepy and worried and I certainly don't want my Mum to see me upset. I'll cry on my own time.

Morning Birdies...Feeling Mildly Blue-Must Stop!

Just woke up feeling a tad blue today, it may be the fact it is Friday 13th, complete exhaustion, a booming headache or the txt I got from my brother in LA saying my power bill is $200. 

He has been staying in my apartment and looking after my cat, my beautiful love of my life, Johnny Rotten (known as Johnny Cat to friends) and the power bill has been running up.

It could be any of these reasons, or the constant Christmas adverts which I usually love, but can see Mum is sad watching them as she doesn't feel she can do much this year. She will though. 

I'm going to set her up on Amazon.com so she can buy presents for my brother and his girlfriend and my Aunt and Uncle so she feels involved.

On Christmas Day which will be at my Aunt's house (after they cancelled their holiday this month to France and Germany) I will make sure she looks amazing.

Anyway, I just brought Mum breakfast in bed (so she can rest) along with her chocolate from our advent calendar on her toast. I'm classy like that... Elf Toast